Outbreak reports from around the world

Dotty's Blog

Village of Zombies Cured

Luke knows all about drugs. Sometimes I can sit by the window, fall asleep and when I wake up again, he's still talking about drugs. I don't know where such a nice young man learnt all about them but I expect it's important to know about these things these days. Today, Luke and I talked about how zombies come to be. I told him about my experiences and thoughts and then we came across a village on the internet where a large proportion of its inhabitants had been… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 4 April 2009 at 7:37pm — No Comments

To Be Eaten Alive or To Starve To Death?

That is the question Luke posed to me today. We were looking at a bed bunker on the internet. Oh nothing exciting - I'm long past the time when I thought of young men like Luke in terms of bed snuggles or acrobatics. Heaven forbid. As my mother used to say to me, "Dorothy, there's a reason why women have more headaches than men." I'm not entirely sure what that reason is but I'm sure it was a good point. Anyway, I found this… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 2 April 2009 at 9:00pm — 1 Comment

Save The Zombies From Red Meat Death Link!

Luke's community service ended and no one else here would talk about zombies. They all thought I was mad. "You're mad, Dotty!" they would all say when I tried to talk to them about zombies. Happily though, Luke has re-offended and is back on community service so I have someone to talk to again! I couldn't be happier! I think he's happy to be back. "Dotty," he says to me. "Being around you makes me appreciate just how bad things can get." What a nice boy! Anyway, since Luke has been back, we've… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 25 March 2009 at 6:30pm — 1 Comment

The most boring zombie quiz in the world?

My father always used to say to me, "Dorothy, if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well." Well, Luke and I found this zombie quiz on the internet (once Thomas was done looking at young ladies wearing not-enough and... oddly... a donkey with a straw… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 25 January 2009 at 4:00pm — No Comments

If staying calm prevents dementia will it prevent infection too?

When I was a girl my mother always used to say to me, "Dorothy... Only the trollops of this world act like over-excited hysterics." Now it seems that my mother knew that staying calm was good for you in more ways than one. Luke found an article for me about how staying calm can help prevent dementia. Bless him. I said to him, "Luke, dear boy, I'm the last person you need to worry about with dementia!" He agreed but made me read it anywa… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 24 January 2009 at 10:00am — 1 Comment

Zombie Strippers

When I was a girl, women didn't do things like nudity. Certainly not on the silver screen, My mother always used to say "Dorothy... just because we're born nude doesn't mean we have to live nude" and I've always tried to live by that particular creed. Certainly, when Luke told me about the release of a film named "Zombie Strippers", I was rather aghast. Apparently the star of the film is quite famous though. I've never heard of Jenna Jameson tho… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 26 September 2008 at 5:00pm — 3 Comments

Marijuana As A Means Of Fighting Infection

Luke smokes pot. He told me so today. I told him his breath smelt funny. He told me mine smelt of fish. I blamed mine on the fish pie at lunch. He said his was because of the pot he'd been smoking while he was gardening. I said to him, "Luke, if my father were here, he'd say to you, 'Luke, pots are for women to cook with, not for men to smoke'" but I don't think Luke understood. Or maybe I didn't. He told me alot about marijuana. I can't say I really understood it all. He told me I would find it… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 6 September 2008 at 10:00pm — 1 Comment

Everything Has A Use, Even Maggots

Gina says to me all the time, "Dotty, your computer's your friend - you have to stop being so scared of it" and I say to her, "Gina, I'm not hiding from it with blacked out windows," but perhaps I am a little bit. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever understand all this new-fangled technology. Although I've quite enjoyed "chatting" with other people on the internet and learning that lol isn't short for "lollipop" - how slang has declined these days! My mother used to say, "Dorothy, if it's wor… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 1 September 2008 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

Let Them Eat Human - Or Dog At A Push

Luke can't wait til he's done with community service. He told me this morning that he wishes they'd just locked him up so he could have got it over and done with. I said to him, "Luke, my mother used to say 'Dorothy, God works in mysterious ways and it's not for the likes of us to question Him.'" I think he draws as much comfort from these little pearls of wisdom as I do. I shall be sorry when his community service is finally done, even if he is a very slow reader. He's a good boy though and lis… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 28 August 2008 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Being Civilised About Things

My sister, Lotty, used to say, "Dorothy, just because you have to break up with them, doesn't mean you can't do it in a civilised way." Of course, Lotty was a lot prettier than me so she had ample opportunity to practise. Whereas I was rather gauche about the whole thing. If I can bring myself to believe in reincarnation the way those buddhist people do, I'd like to come back as a pretty girl next time so I can do things the nice way. After all, there really is no need to be otherwise abo… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 25 August 2008 at 1:00pm — 1 Comment

In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, Zombies Hardly Ever Happen...

Luke's a young offender but as my mother said, "Dorothy, just because they make a mistake once doesn't mean you should tar them forever." He comes to us to do various community tasks. He quite likes to do the painting and the gardening but the day room has been three different colours since he started visiting us and he's not a very good gardener. Now he spends time with us, playing chess or reading to us. I like it when he reads to me although he's quite slow and doesn't like to talk about the… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 23 August 2008 at 3:30pm — 2 Comments

Violence Begets Violence

Gina's the girl who runs the Make Friends With Your Computer sessions which is silly, really as most of us don't have our own computers. We use the ones in the day room. I can't remember who donated them now but I remember thinking to myself at the time, "Dorothy, now that's a silly donation if ever there was one. What are a bunch of old people like us going to do with computers? Play space invaders all day?" It turns out I was wrong though. It seems that there's a lot more you can do on compute… Continue

Posted by Dotty on 20 August 2008 at 10:00pm — 3 Comments